A post was shared by a friend on social media. She had an absolutely beautiful take on it and it inspired me to read the shared content– a blog post by Brene Brown. It’s a worthy read and I implore you to take the time and really soak up her words. They’re beautiful.
While reading both my friends post and Brown’s, I experienced chills, tears, and hair-rising clarity.
At 25, I’m way too young to be experiencing any type of “midlife crisis,” right? Regardless, Brown’s post perfectly describes the last two years of my life. Brown describes midlife as an unraveling:
“When the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: I’m not screwing around.All of this pretending and preforming— these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt— has to go…”
The Universe has indeed whispered frequently over that last two years that I should pay attention, that I should slow down, that I should listen. But I was already a martyr to the 9-5, the money, the security, the monotony; the idea that everything should look perfect on the outside, even if I felt smothered by it all on the inside.
“It’s a terrible case of cognitive dissonance— the psychologically painful process of trying to hold onto two competing truths in a mind that was engineered to constantly reduce conflict and minimize dissension (e.g., I’m falling apart and need to slow down and ask for help. Only needy, flaky, unstable people fall apart and ask for help).”
While we typically describe this unraveling feeling as a midlife crisis, I KNOW that my fellow 20-somethings feel this too. A midlife crisis occurs when all your coping mechanisms finally give out and you feel like life is unraveling. A midlife crisis is when you finally stop ignoring the universe’s demand, YOUR demand to live a life that is fulfilling you and fulfills the mission that your soul was put Earth-side to complete. As 20-somethings, we’re just now developing that emotional armor designed to take on the outside world and we’re all at a crossroads. We’re all making the decision to listen to the whispering of the universe, of destiny, of our higher-self, or to choose a path that offers less disguised as more. It’s a different period in our lives, but the same crossroads many people in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s are staring down.
After months of ignoring the Universe, I took a leap of faith and decided to become a Health Coach. My gut said yes, my heart said finally, and my mind said hell no. Looking back, I’ve decided it’s not really a leap of faith, though, if the universe has already laid out your path. Walking down YOUR path, making the right turn when society says left, is like breathing fresh air after years of being stuck underwater. When we deny ourselves that path, it manifests in the body as depression, anxiety, health conditions and disease.
If I’m being honest, my PCOS diagnosis was exactly that. I wasn’t living the life I was supposed to live. I was finishing up a business degree, planning on finding a corporate position that required years of climbing ladders, long hours, and lots of paperwork. I thought I wanted that—some high-powered position that didn’t leave time for gardening, a family, vacations but gave me financial success and security. Then, PCOS happened–it hit so hard, knocked me off balance to far, and stripped me down to the most vulnerable core that when the Universe swooped in, looked me dead on and said, “help yourself first,choose you, and then go heal others” I could have never of said no.
We’re here on Earth to embrace ourselves through self-love, through following passion, through sharing talents, through giving our gifts. Be the person who sees the unraveling and embraces it by walking right into it.